New Beginnings
by dbtcjs
Summary: On hold until Second Chances is finished. Second Chances can now be found under the pen name waitingfornewmoon. The other side to Second Chances. Bella’s New Beginning affects more than just her. AH/ E x B Rated M for language and strong lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**If you are reading this for the first time, you should know that it has a predecessor. ****Second Chances ****is Edward's point of view of this entire situation and is being written simultaneously. We advise that you read his chapter first and then come back to ****New Beginnings**** to read Bella's point of view. See the blog link on the main site for more information.**

**Once again we would like to thank our fellow FanFictioner for being our beta. **

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**BPOV**

I went to bed early thinking I would get a good night's sleep. Nope, not a chance in hell! I tossed and turned all night long. I just couldn't get comfortable in my new king size bed. And, I couldn't seem to get _him_ off my mind. It's like I wished he was there holding me, and yet I was glad he was gone. Ughhhh, so frustrating! Why was I even thinking about him? I hated him, didn't I? I was divorcing his ass, wasn't I? I should be happy about it after all we had been through in the last year. After tomorrow I would no longer be Isabella Cullen. I would be a free woman; able to move on with my life.

Every time I thought I was about to doze off, thoughts of what the next day would bring floated across my mind. My thoughts of being without him saddened me. I pouted into my pillow as I continued to think of how happy we had once been. If I was being totally honest with myself, I truly believed that I was to blame for our demise. I would never tell him that at this point in the game. We were too far gone. Hell; tomorrow was "D" day.

I remember how excited I had been to take his name and how it felt the first time he said, _"I love you Mrs. Cullen." _ He said it right after we made love for the first time as husband and wife.

Tears pooled in my eyes as the pain from this memory yanked and twisted at my heart; tying me into a giant knot. My entire body began to physically ache just thinking about all I was losing. _I was about to lose the love of my life all because I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong._

I tortured myself further, thinking about our relationship and how it started.

_**Flashback**_

Fresh out of college, I was an aspiring author, and I had recently signed a contract with the company Edward worked for. When we first met, it took everything I had to keep my hands and eyes off of him. He was a beautiful man; over six feet tall with broad shoulders and perfectly toned muscles. He had a wonderfully symmetrical face, perfect lips and a smile that could light up a room. From the moment I saw him, I couldn't help but fantasize about what it would be like to have him take me in his arms and ravish my body with his mouth. I fantasized further about the sounds he would make if we ever did have wild passionate sex.

The more we worked together, the more I would catch myself staring a little too long at him; his face, his body, his hair. Lord, God his hair. When I sat next to him, I could hardly work or form even the simplest of thoughts. All I could do was visualize running my tongue across his lower lip.

We tried to keep our relationship professional. I knew he was having the same inner struggle. I caught him staring at me inappropriately on several occasions, and I loved it. For several weeks we just worked and tried to ignore the feelings that were building every day. Of course I wasn't helping the situation for either of us. I would walk in front of him on purpose and add a little more swing to my hips than was absolutely necessary. I found myself trying to dress just a little bit sexier. I did things to make him notice me, like slowly licking my lips and letting my tongue linger on my bottom lip while I worked. I pretended not to notice, but I saw his eyes damn near bulge out of his head, and I heard his breath hitch when I did things like that.

It all began one night when we were working late on a single chapter of my first novel. I was sitting next to him at his desk, watching him, as he turned my words into perfection on paper. I caught myself looking at his messy hair, and my fingers itched to run through the shiny auburn tresses. I knew he was watching me out of the corner of his eye, and I could tell he was distracted too when he stopped typing for a moment for no apparent reason.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I spread my fingers and ran them through his hair from his forehead all the way back to his neck. As soon as I did it, I cringed inwardly at my lack of self control. I heard his breathing stop momentarily as he turned to look at me with a cocky grin on his face. I felt my cheeks get hot and red with embarrassment, _Jesus Bella, get a hold of yourself. _ He crooked an eyebrow in question. "Sorry, you had a piece of lint in your hair." I lied, trying to get myself out of the inappropriate situation I had just created. I fought the urge to crawl under his desk and hide from his sultry eyes.

He looked around on the floor and on the top of his desk, "I don't see any lint," He commented cockily knowing the real truth. He turned his gaze back to mine.

I gave up, "Okay, fine, I wanted to touch your hair. How do you get it to look that way anyway?" Again, I couldn't control it, and I raised my hand back up to his hair. The silky strands ran through my fingers effortlessly, and I loved every second of it.

His eyes fell shut and his grin grew appreciative, "Like that do ya?" He questioned with an overconfident smile. "Maybe you'll get a chance to see how I do it one of these days."

_Wait, was he implying that I might be in his bathroom one morning while he created that masterpiece of a hair do?_ He opened his eyes and stared at me, testing my will power. I couldn't turn away. I met his gaze, second for agonizing second. He was teasing me, and he needed to know I could hold my own. I could feel the energy of the room as it charged with sexual tension. I tried desperately to control my breathing so he wouldn't notice. I just knew that any second now one of us was going to break.

Without looking away he finally spoke, "It's late. Do you want to get out of here and go get something to eat?" I sighed to myself in relief that we weren't going to take this any farther right here in his office. It was obvious to me, at that point, that it was just a matter of time before I would cave in.

I didn't hesitate. "Sure," I stood up finally breaking our sexually charged gaze. I gathered my things as he turned his lap top off and put it into its case. We walked silently to the parking garage, and I pulled my keys out. He stopped, and looked at me with questioning eyes, "What?" I asked.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could ride together." One side of his lips moved into that lovely smile that I was starting to crave. I smiled in return and put my keys back into my purse as I walked to his car. I reached for the handle to open the door and he stopped me, "Wait." He jogged to the passenger's side and opened the door for me. It was a sweet and gentlemanly gesture, but not really necessary.

"Thank you," I said as I slid into the passenger seat letting my knee length skirt raise up mid thigh to give him a little glimpse. I noticed his eyes widen, and he took a deep breath as he shut the door. I was overwhelmed with anticipation mixed with nervous excitement. The smell of his cologne and expensive leather wasn't helping either. Any moment now he was going to open the door to his side of the car, and I was going to have to show extreme restraint with him sitting so close. I couldn't help myself, I closed my eyes and imagined straddling him and going at it like a sex crazed maniac right here in his car. My explicit day dream was interrupted when he opened his door and slid in next to me.

"What sounds good? There is a great little deli around the corner that stays open until 10:00. Will that work?"

"Sounds great," I smiled and decided to try and break some of the tension, "So how do you think the book is coming?" I didn't really want to talk about my book right now, but I wasn't sure how to start the conversation.

Apparently he didn't want to talk about work either. "I think it's coming along great," He paused for a moment. "Bella, if it's alright with you I would rather not talk about work tonight." He glanced at me for my reaction.

I couldn't help the smile that crept up, "It's fine with me, what would you like to talk about?" I asked.

He looked at my face, "You. I would like to talk about you." He said. "I want to know everything about you; where you grew up, what you like to do on the weekends, all that good stuff."

"Oh," I said.

The conversation on the way to the deli grew as we got to know each other on a more personal level.

When we arrived, he insisted on opening my door for me. I got out and felt him place his hand on the small of my back to lead me into the restaurant. I smiled at the gesture and was inundated with a sense of security. He made me feel safe and taken care of. This was a feeling I had never felt with any other man.

We ordered at the counter, and I noticed that the female cashier was trying to flirt with him. I was becoming a little jealous until he took my hand as we walked to get our drinks at the drink station. He smiled and leaned in to whisper, "I saw that dirty look you gave her, and I think it's cute." Once again, I almost died of embarrassment. _That's two times in one night, Bella; cool it!_ We sat in a two person booth directly across from one another and waited for our food to arrive.

The sexual energy between us began to return, and we sat there in silence for a moment before he cleared his throat, "Bella?"

"Yeah," I answered as I took a sip of my water.

"I hope this isn't too forward or inappropriate, but I would really like to take you out some time." He said it fast without taking a breath, "I know you are under contract with my company, and I understand if you don't want to go out with me. And, please don't feel like we can't work together if you say no."

I smiled and chuckled a little. He sounded like a sixteen year old boy asking a girl out on a first date. He had never seemed nervous around me before, and his anxiety seemed out of character. "I'm already out with you," I teased in the form of a cruel joke, not actually answering his question.

He sighed and rolled his eyes a little. "Yes, I know that. But I meant like on a real date. One where I pick you up and we go out, unless," he paused, "Unless, you are already seeing someone else."

I shook my head. _God he is so fucking cute_, "No, I'm not seeing anyone." I knew I was torturing him by not just coming out and saying 'yes' to the date, so I decided to let him off the hook. "Edward, I would love to go out with you, but again, we are already out." He seemed to relax instantly and let out the breath he had been holding.

I decided right then and there that this time would be different. Edward and I were going to get to know each other before anything happened sexually between us. I had been in relationships before where it was only about sex. I could tell that this could easily turn into that if I wasn't careful. I was too old to be doing that now, and furthermore, I was not interested in just a booty call. Not only that, but I had watched Edward around his office. The girls giggled and laughed at every word that came out of his mouth. He was charming and extremely good looking. I knew women threw themselves at him; just look at how that stupid cashier acted. A man like Edward needed to feel like he was working for it; needed to chase the girl he wanted.

By the end of the night, we had learned about each other's likes, dislikes, and future goals. I even told him how my parents died tragically a few years ago in a car accident. I saw him wince in pain for me because of it, and I changed the subject quickly; not wanting pity from him or anyone else for that matter.

I found out that he had one older brother, Emmet, and I told him about my childhood and how I didn't have any siblings. College, career choices and other things were discussed as well. Up until that point, I hadn't realized how much we actually had in common, outside of our love for writing and reading. At one point, I set my hand on the table, and I saw him look down at it like he wanted to take it in his. When his eyes met mine again, I gave a shy smile. He gave me a cocky, 'Yeah that's right. You know you want me,' grin. I rolled my eyes trying to hide the delicious feelings it gave me.

We sat there and talked until the manager came over to tell us that they were closing up and were ready to lock the doors. "Oh, sorry," I said as I gathered my purse and scooted myself out of the booth.

As we walked out of the restaurant and back to his car, Edward lightly guided me with his hand placed at the small of my back, "Well Bella, I hadn't intended on that being a date, but it sure feels like that's what it was."

"Yeah, I think it was." I nodded in agreement.

"So how'd I do? Did I earn a second date with you?" He asked as he draped his arm around my shoulder; pulling me into him.

I laughed at his boyish charm, "I think you did." I looked at him and watched him smile at my response. I wondered how much longer I could fight it; not touching him, kissing him, or running my fingers through his hair again. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

My senses were on overload as I sat back against the cushy passenger seat. I was aware of everything going on in the car, the purr of the engine, his breathing, my breathing, and his wonderful smell. His hand accidentally brushed over mine, and I reacted like a teenage girl. I got butterflies in my stomach and my breath hitched. I wondered if he noticed.

"Jesus Bella, your hands are cold," He reached down and took mine in his. I had been holding my drink, and in my nervous state, I hadn't noticed my hands being cold. I loved that he felt the need to warm me up; to take care of me. We continued talking and joking with one another as we drove back to his office. When we pulled into the parking garage, he stopped his car next to mine. He didn't turn off the engine, but turned in his seat to face me. My body automatically did the same, and we looked at each other with lust filled eyes. "You know, it's customary to kiss at the end of a first date," He said presumptuously as he leaned in slightly.

"Is that right?" I asked, as I inched a little closer to him.

"Yeah, I think so," He whispered with a smile in his voice. I could feel the heat of his breath on my face because of his proximity, and I could hear the sound of my own heart fluttering in my ears. I closed my eyes and moved a little further in until my lips were touching his. Instantly, I felt the electricity between us. It was like a drug, and I was already addicted.

I felt him smile against my lips and the sensation alone was enough to make that spot between my thighs ache. We kissed chastely once, twice, three times before we finally gave in. His hands fisted into my hair, and I lightly cupped the side of his baby soft face in my palm. I had imagined this moment so many times and wondered why I hadn't acted on it until now. Our tongues glided and danced around with delicate eagerness.

His tongue sliding along with mine was absolute perfection. Our breathing was erratically filling the quiet space of the car; along with our moans and soft murmurs "God Bella," He said as he moved away from my lips and ventured down the front of my throat.

"I know," I knew exactly what he meant, because I felt it too.

"Why haven't we kissed before now? What was holding us back?" He asked as he licked and nibbled his way down to my collar bone.

"I don't know," My neck was getting wet because of his frenzied open mouthed kisses. _Oh God!_ He found that spot just above my collar bone that turns me to mush. _Fuck that feels so good!_ I swore in my head. I wasn't sure how he would react to me saying such a thing out loud. I tried to hold in a groan but couldn't.

"Hmm?" He questioned, as his fingers moved to that spot on my neck, "Right here huh?" My skin broke out in goose bumps because of the touch. I inwardly cursed myself for letting him find my melting spot so quickly.

"Uh huh," I sighed and let out a soft moan as he kissed his way back up to meet my lips again.

"Edward, I love the way you kiss me," I told him as I felt myself losing control. The ache between my legs was getting worse, and I knew I needed to stop this.

My hands moved from his beautiful face and rested on the defined muscles of his chest. I felt his hardened nipples through his shirt, and I wondered what he would look like without his shirt on. The thought of this gorgeous man shirtless engulfed my vision, causing me to fist his shirt and pull him roughly to my body. He groaned because of my forcefulness. _It seems that Mr. Cullen likes it a little rough, doesn't he?_ I wanted so badly to reach down between his legs and feel the erection that I knew was begging to be released. But, I didn't want to let myself be that bold and go that far on the first date.

When his hands moved to my breasts I forced myself to pull back. My face was burning, and I was breathing in heavy pants. I didn't notice how swollen my lips were until I spoke, "I'm sorry Edward," I apologized between breathes.

"No, I'm sorry," He took a calming breath. "I shouldn't have done that."

I shook my head, "I only stopped because I know myself. If I let this go any farther, we will turn a first date into another first for us. I don't want our first time to be in your car."

He laughed. "Well my apartment is just five minutes from here," He suggested as he leaned back in to continue kissing my neck; thus turning me on even more.

It took everything I had to tell him no. "I appreciate the offer, and I would love to continue this little escapade, but I think we should call it a night."

He groaned like he was in pain. "Alright," He said reluctantly.

"I will see you tomorrow." I leaned in for one last amazing kiss. When his tongue hit mine we were at it again. "Edward," I sighed, "I have to go." I said as I continued kissing him.

He laughed when I moaned into his mouth. He couldn't stop and neither could I. "If you have to go then why aren't you stopping me?" He teased.

That was enough to get me to stop. I was determined to stay in charge of this aspect of our developing relationship; the sex was on my terms. "Okay, going now." I started to move away but not before I swept my tongue across his bottom lip; leaving a wet trail behind so he could taste me later.

"Goodnight," I said as I stepped out of his car.

"Auggh, God," He said sounding disappointed. "That's it? You're just going to leave me hanging like this?"

I looked back inside the car and smiled at him. "Yup, sorry. You'll get your shot, just not tonight." I blew him a sexy kiss, "I will see you tomorrow."

My weak legs somehow carried me to my car. I was feeling triumphant and extremely excited. I left him wanting more, and that's always a good thing. I knew I wanted more as well, a whole lot more.

The next few weeks went much the same way. After each date he would ask me to come to his place, and I would say no; knowing exactly what would happen if I gave in. I never invited him over to my place either. All of our kissing and heavy petting took place in his car and ended with me leaving just as things were beginning to really heat up.

We explored each other's bodies while remaining fully clothed and it was getting harder and harder to stop; my will power was fading with each passing day. The first time I felt his erection through his jeans, I nearly came. I loved the way it felt in my hand, and I wanted to unzip his pants and take him into my mouth just to see what he tasted like.

Working with him became even more difficult than it already had been. We couldn't even sit next to each other without touching in some way. As I typed, his hand would rest on my knee, or he would test my limits by letting his hand slide slowly up my thigh. I would let him get really close to my core, before sliding his hand away. "You want it don't you?" I teased as I leaned in to whisper in his ear. I wanted him on the verge of explosion every time I was near. I was cruel and deliberate when I teased him further by occasionally brushing my ass against his semi hard cock or bending over so he could see straight down my low cut shirts.

We were both getting extremely frustrated with our clothed foreplay, but I was not ready to give it up just yet. I knew I really liked him and wanted to date him exclusively, but I was not sure how he felt about me. I did not want to just have sex with him without having some sort of a commitment. I didn't want to be "that girl," the one who had meaningless sex. I had gone down that road before and did not want to continue on that reckless path. I wanted something more; something that would last a lifetime.

I knew Edward would be worth the wait, and I wanted him to make the first move towards us being in a monogamous relationship. As cliché as it sounds, I wanted him to want me as his girlfriend before we had sex for the first time.

By the third week, he had finally given up on asking me to join him at his place at the end of our dates; which had become almost a nightly event. Most days we would work until about six and then head to a nearby restaurant to have dinner together. Each of our lovely evenings ended with a heavy make out session that had both of us leaving desperately frustrated.

The last few weekends were not any better, since we had to spend them apart; both of us already having plans made prior to us dating. I had never been so lonely. Being without him that last weekend helped me decide that I was going to ask him to come to my place for a little privacy after our Monday night date. I wanted to be intimate with him somewhere other than in his car.

Monday could not come fast enough. It had been two days since I had seen him. I did not want to seem overzealous, so I purposely showed up late for our morning appointment; keeping him waiting twenty minutes longer than our scheduled time.

When I finally arrived, he seemed mad at first but then stood and placed his hands on my hips as he whispered, "You will never know how much I missed you this weekend. I think about you every minute that we are apart. When you weren't here on time, I got worried." He held onto me and kissed my neck gently while whispering, "I never want to feel that way again, so don't make me worry about you." He stopped for a moment and looked at me like he wanted to say something else, "I don't want to be without you. I want you and only you." He then dipped his head and kissed me lightly on the shoulder. His action caused my skin to tighten in goose bumps and my heart to pound violently. He took my hand in his and kissed my palm before he continued, "I don't want another weekend to go by without us spending it together. I want you with me always."

Tears welled up in my eyes as he said the words I had been waiting to hear. I was shocked and thrilled at the same time. I felt the same way and all I could think to say was, "Ditto."

We decided we would talk about "us" later, because we had a lot of work to do. The rest of the day seemed to drag on as we worked diligently on my book. Late in the afternoon, I had gotten up to go grab a drink from the coke machine. I needed some caffeine to keep me awake and focused.

On my way back to his office, he snuck up behind me in the hall and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist; quickly leading us into the supply closet. I almost screamed because of the unexpected action, before realizing it was Edward. He trapped me up against the door and whispered, "I just can't help myself. You look so hot, and all I can think about is touching you; tasting you."

_Oh shit! _ Edward attacked my mouth with his. "I am losing patience with this," He groaned. "Every fucking day I go home with a hard on and have to handle the situation in the shower myself."

His words shot straight to my core, and his teeth scraped along my neck and ear lobe. "Do you know what that's like? Do you know what it's like to want something so fucking bad and know that it's getting closer, but it's just not quite within your reach?"

"I know what it's like." I admitted, "I want to feel you on me, in me and around me." I whispered as I tilted my head back and closed my eyes.

I reached down between us and grabbed his cock through his dress slacks. "Uugh God," He rested his forehead against mine. "No one has ever made me wait like this before." He kissed me tenderly letting my bottom lip rest between his lips, before he spoke again. "Forgive me Bella," He reached down and roughly pressed his palm against my sex. "But, if I don't get my dick inside you soon, I am going to combust." I groaned loudly letting him know how much I liked it when he talked like that. "You don't know what you're doing to me." He slid his hand to my hip and down to my knee where he pulled my leg up around his waist.

He pressed his hips firmly into my core. "I need you, Edward!" I breathed out at the sensation of his hardened cock pressed into me.

"Do you feel it? Do you feel how hard I am for you; how badly I want you?" I felt his lips move into a smile against my neck, "I have to be alone with you. I am going to ask you one more time. Will you come over tonight? Let me cook you dinner and cuddle with you on my couch. I want to lose all train of thought while watching a movie, and make love to you all night long."

"_Make love?" _I swear to God my heart skipped about five beats when he said that. I realized then that I was falling in love with him. I wanted him in the worst way, and I was not going to say no this time. I fisted his hair and moved his lips back to my own. Tonight would be the night, but I still hadn't said 'yes' yet. "Please Bella," He begged. "I want you. I need you." His hands were all over my body; turning me into a wet hot mess.

"No," I said nearly breathless. He stopped abruptly and looked into my eyes. He started to speak, and I raised my finger to his lips hushing him, "I want you to come to my house tonight." I smiled as I watched his face change from disappointment to relief. We were going to finally have sex tonight but again, it would still be on my terms.

His lips crushed to mine, "Oh thank God." He ground his hips into me again, "I don't care where we are as long as we can be together. I just want to feel you from the inside, and I want to see your beautiful body; naked beneath me." He groaned loudly, "Oh fuck! I want to feel your hot little pussy around me, and I want to hear you scream my name when I make you come."

_Oh… my… holy… God! _ I couldn't take any more. We had to stop before I made him take me right there in the supply closet. "Stop Baby," I pushed on him slightly. "As much as I want this right here, right now, we have to stop. We can't do this here."

He pulled back when he realized I was right. "Okay," He looked down at his watch. "It's 4:30. I will be at your place at 6:00. Will that work?"

I rushed home with anticipation of what tonight would bring and where it would take us. _Tonight is going to be wonderful!_ I swear 6:00 couldn't come fast enough. I was at home getting things ready for a night of perfection, when I heard him knocking on my door.

_Hmmm, 5:45. He's early_. I practically galloped across the room, and straightened myself up before I opened the door. He threw himself at me, "Dinner smells great, where's the bed?" He grabbed me and hugged me tightly. I knew right then that 'our sex' was no longer on my terms. I was putty in his hands.

I laughed at his urgency, "I thought you said you wanted to cuddle with me on the couch." I teased.

"No, I said I wanted to cuddle with you on 'my couch,' but you insisted on me coming to your place. So now things have changed a bit."

"Oh, I see."

I felt his hands grip my ass tightly and roughly lift me up. I helped him by jumping slightly and wrapping my legs around his waist. He kissed me furiously, "Enough with the teasing. Bed, where is it?" I pointed in the direction of my bedroom, and he carried me as we kissed like two starved animals. "I'm sorry if you wanted this first time to be slow." He moved to my neck and I tugged his hair, "But I feel like I should warn you, it's not going to be." He groaned when I bit his bottom lip, "You have made me wait too long for me to be slow and easy with you."

I wanted to let him know that I was okay with whatever he had in mind, "Edward, I want you, now. All of you." I realized that I was almost demanding it from him. "I want to see you, feel you, and hear you fuck me like you mean it."

"Jesus Bella," He groaned. On our way to the bedroom we bumped into walls and doors, not willing to break our kiss. With closed eyes, it seemed like it took forever to finally make it to my bed. He bumped into the nightstand; knocking the lamp to the floor as we hit the soft mattress. Neither of seemed to notice as we pulled and nipped at each other. Our kissing was frenzied; yet loving and tender.

Having had months of sexual tension between us, I knew this would not last long for either one of us. But, that didn't bother me too much, because this particular night was going to involve several sexual encounters.

I pulled at Edward's shirt and removed it forcefully. My eyes instantly feasted on the muscles of his arms and chest. I couldn't help myself. I grinned and bit my lip. He gave me a cocky smile, and I sat up; forcing myself on top of him. He watched me as I leaned over and let my hungry tongue trace the lines of his well defined muscles. I made my way down to his hip bone and ran my tongue over his sexy outline. "Fuck," He groaned before rolling me over. "My turn," He said as his hands powerfully ravaged my body.

As Edward removed my shirt, I heard the seam of it rip slightly in his haste to see my body. Once it was off, he stopped and looked at me for a moment; staring with intense eyes. I was almost embarrassed and felt so vulnerable lying there naked and waiting. His fingers worked magic on me, caressing me all over. Edward's hands had a way of making me feel beautiful. I closed my eyes and let him explore.

Finally he placed his palms on either side of my head and pushed himself up so he hovered over me, "God, you're beautiful." The muscles in his arms and shoulders were incredible and bulging with strength. I glided my hands up and down them while he licked and kissed my neck. _Damn, he's so fucking hot!_

"I want you to know that I have waited for this moment….." and before he could finish, I pushed myself up to his mouth and kissed him into silence.

I pulled away for a moment, "Edward, right now I want you and not your words. I want you to show me how you feel." With that said, he lowered himself to me; his eyes never leaving mine as he kissed me teasingly. He licked and nipped at my bottom lip and swirled his tongue into my mouth. This action turned me on, and I wrapped my legs around his waist and ground my wet pussy into his cock.

I watched his eyes roll back in pleasure, "God Bella, you are so wet." He let his cock tease my entrance, "Tell me how much you want me. I want to hear you say it."

He asked for it. I let all of my inhibitions go, "Edward, I have never wanted anyone more than I want you right now. Please don't make me wait any longer."

"Oh fuck," He gave a cocky smirk at my words. He took his dick and plunged the entire length of it into me while simultaneously taking my hardened nipple into his mouth.

He bit down ever so slightly sending pain and pleasure throughout my entire body. "Oh my God," I said digging my nails into his strong back and moaning in ecstasy. I stretched to accommodate him. Having Edward inside of me was everything I imagined it would be. He filled me completely and I loved how he made me feel. He stopped to let me adjust to his size and brought his lips back to mine; kissing me deeply.

"Did you like that little combination, Baby?" Just when I was about to answer him, he began slowly thrusting in and out; causing me to lose my train of thought. He moved back down and lightly licked the tip of my now swollen nipple. He was soothing my lady parts and slowly bringing me to my peak.

I could feel my impending orgasm. "Don't stop," I instructed. "Fuck me deeper Edward. Harder!"

I moved my legs from his waist and pulled them up, placing the backs of my thighs against his chest. My movement caused him to moan gutturally. This position allowed him to completely fill me with his length. He gripped my thighs tightly and I could feel his balls slapping against me with each thrust. I reached around with one hand and gently massaged them. I took my other hand and brought it up to his nipple and began to twist and lightly pull on it.

This must have been sensory overload for him because he gasped for air, "God Bella… it has never… felt so good before. Fuck, you are amazing. You make me _feel_ amazing." I watched him strain, closing his eyes tightly and biting down on his bottom lip attempting concentration.

I could tell he was on the verge of coming because he decided to slow it up a bit, waiting for me to come with him. He began to thrust slower; pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into me, letting out a feral groan with each driving force. He placed his thumb on my clit and rubbed softly at first; until he noticed I was getting closer to my climax. Wanting to time it perfectly, he began to rub me harder and faster; while speeding up his thrusting working us into a quick frenzied rhythm. I saw signs of moisture forming on his forehead from the exertion.

"Yes, Edward! That's it," I tried to make it last longer not wanting this amazing experience to end, but I was unable to hold off. "Edward, you feel so good. Oh God, I'm com…"

I didn't get the final word out before he finished my sentence for me, "I am coming with you, Baby! Oh fuck, I can feel you!" He shouted as I clenched around him. I felt him throbbing inside me as we rode it out together.

He fell on top of me and his lips landed on mine; kissing me with a smile, "That was definitely worth the wait." I laughed, because I felt the same way. Both of us were sweaty and breathless. My heart felt like it might never slow back down.

In one sweeping motion, he wrapped his arms around me and rolled onto his back pulling me on top of him. This movement separated us, and I instantly felt empty without him in me. He pulled me to his chest and ran his fingers through my messy "JBF" hair.

"I miss you already," I said as I laid there pouting.

He kissed my forehead and then tilted my chin so I was looking into his eyes, "I am ready for round two when you are."

That was all it took. Our night began at 5:45, when he got to my apartment, and did not end until after four in the morning. In between 'sessions,' we talked and kissed. At one point we even got up to eat something. Exhausted, we finally fell asleep holding tight to one another; not wanting to let go.

_**End Flashback**_

I couldn't take anymore. I got up out of bed and went to the bathroom for a drink of water. As I was gulping it down, I looked at myself in the mirror. Who _are_ you? I asked myself. I realized that I didn't recognize the person staring back at me. Physically I was the same, but mentally I had changed. I hated who I had become…..stubborn, proud, calloused and almost arrogant about everything…..my success, my money, my writing…..everything!

Then it hit me, like a brick in the face. _I was about to make a mistake of gargantuan proportions. _

My life with Edward was about to end just because I was too proud. I had to make this right before I lost _my everything_. I had to tell him how I yearned for him; for his touch, his affection and most of all, his undying love.

The night he stormed out, I had thrown a very expensive crystal vase at our door as he closed it behind him. I watched as the vase crashed and shattered into a million pieces. Devastated, I collapsed to the floor in tears instantly regretting all I had said and/or hadn't said. It was merely a defense, and I didn't really feel that way. I was just too damn stubborn to admit it.

I took one more drink of water and grabbed the box of tissues that sat on the bathroom counter, before I made my way back to the bed. There were so many things I hadn't realized until now.

Since he had moved out, two months ago, I had been absolutely miserable. Saying I was a wreck was putting it mildly; a fucking basket case was more like it.

I had kept my feelings hidden from everyone, including Edward and myself. And now, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and for the first time in my life, I didn't even want to write. _Why hadn't I figured this out before now? Am I just that stupid?_

I just didn't know how to do it; how to go about fixing this situation that we found ourselves in. He despised me, and part of me felt the same way towards him. I knew he wanted out, and I sure as hell wasn't going to beg him to stay with me. It just wasn't in my nature. I knew he was miserable in what had become of our marriage, and truth be told, so was I. But I didn't want out anymore. Yesterday, I did. Now what I wanted was what we once had; our connection, everything we shared, all of it. I wanted it back.

Edward and I had said so many awful things to each other over the past year. Not only that, but we had ignored each other's needs and intentionally hurt one another. We basically lived in silence unless it involved work. That seemed to be the only thing we could actually talk about without fighting. Our relationship had gone from one filled with love and passion to one of a strictly professional nature. _How did I let this happen?_

Our undoing all started about a year ago. I came home from one of my shorter book tours and things between us seemed different. Well, he seemed different; distant and removed from me. I reacted with his same harsh actions which just made things between us worse. I should have just set all of my work aside until I knew we were better.

Instead, I focused on nothing but my writing; pushing him further away.

_**Flashback**_

As I remembered the night of our fourth wedding anniversary, I felt a gut wrenching pain and sadness fill my body. I had been careless and inconsiderate; leaving him alone in a marriage that was once filled with love and happiness.

I was sitting at my desk in our home office at about midnight when Edward walked in. I heard him enter the room but ignored him completely; too wrapped up in my thoughts to pay him any attention. _Don't bother me now_. I thought as I continued to type. I wanted to finish the chapter I was working on before I went to bed.

"Well I guess I'm off to bed." He said with a frustrated sigh.

_Oh good, maybe he'll just leave me alone, so I can get this finished. _"Okay, goodnight." I said waving my hand nonchalantly over my shoulder.

I heard him sigh again as he left the room. A few minutes later he came back in and gently pressed his lips to my neck. "Bella," He sighed. "Have you forgotten that today is our fourth wedding anniversary?"

Shock came over me as I glanced down at the calendar that sat on the desktop of my computer. _Oh God. He was right, and I had forgotten._ Instead of admitting that I was horribly wrong and begging for forgiveness, I simply stated the obvious. "Oh, I guess you're right." I said and continued to type.

He continued to kiss my neck, "I am willing to forgive you for forgetting if you stop writing now and let me give you my gift."

I knew that mine and Edward's marriage was on its way down the toilette, and I knew that this was his final attempt to make things better between us. I should have turned to him and let him carry me to our bedroom the way he had on our wedding night, but I didn't. I was too interested in the newest addition to my long line of best sellers to care about our anniversary.

"Not now Edward. I'll be there in a minute." I shrugged my shoulder to remove his lips from my neck.

"Goddamn it Bella!" He shouted. _Here we go. _"Are you that self absorbed that you can't even acknowledge me on our anniversary?"

"Edward," I groaned loudly through gritted teeth. "I am trying to work. I told you I will be there in a minute. Just let me get through this chapter."

"You know what Bella?" He started. "I have put up with more shit from you for the past year than I care to remember."

"Well if you don't care to remember, then why do you keep bringing it up?" I was still turned, facing my computer.

I gasped when he roughly turned my chair so that I was now facing him. A low growl came from deep within his chest, as he gripped the armrests of the chair in his fists and leaned down, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I am trying to save us....that maybe I can feel us slipping?"

His face was dangerously close to mine, and I pulled myself back from him. "Get away from me," I growled. No man would ever control me this way. I was my own woman, fully capable of making it on my own. I didn't need him or anyone else for that matter.

He pushed back, causing my chair to roll across the hardwood floor, "You are such a bitch. You don't even know what you have. Most women would kill to have a husband like me!" He yelled as he gestured to himself so hard that it would probably bruise his chest.

I stood up allowing the argument to become even more heated, "When are you going to learn that I am not most women. If you want a woman to drool over you, then by all means go find one who will!"

I didn't even care if I hurt him. All I wanted to do was finish the chapter I was working on.

"I don't want someone to drool over me!" He stepped a little closer, but stopped short as if defeat had taken him. "I," He paused like he was unsure of his next sentence.

"Well, go ahead. I'm listening!" I taunted.

"You know what? Never mind. Happy fucking anniversary Bella!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long slender box and tossed it on my desk before leaving the room.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't even open the gift and got back to my writing. _I will deal with that later._

I finally finished the chapter I had been working on around 2:00 am and headed to bed. I planned on apologizing and making love to him to show him just how sorry I was. To my surprise, I found the lamp on and our bed completely made. I walked into the bathroom to see if he was there. Nope. _Where could he possibly be at this hour?_

I checked the whole house and even walked out into the garage to see if his car was gone. Both his car and his stupid motorcycle were still in their spots. As I walked back in and made my way back to our bedroom, I decided I was going to call him to find out where he was. But, before I made it to our room, I noticed the door closed to guest bedroom down the hall. _That's strange._

I walked slowly down the hall to investigate. As I approached, I got a sinking nervous feeling that he was in the room asleep. I quietly opened the door; not wanting to make my presence known. All the lights were off, but I could see the lump of my Edward covered in blankets and could tell by the familiar sound of his breathing that he was asleep.

I closed the door so gently that when it fully shut, the click of the knob wasn't even audible. My breath quickened as the pain shot through me. I stood there for what seemed like several minutes not knowing what to do. Finally, my bitch of a brain kicked in and I pushed my pain aside as I made my way back to 'our' room. _If he is juvenile enough to sleep in the guest bedroom then let him._

That was the first night he slept somewhere other than our bed, and unfortunately it wouldn't be the last.

For the next four days Edward and I ignored each other; only speaking when it was absolutely necessary. On the fifth day, I left to go on my cross country book tour and was gone an entire month. We spoke a few times on the phone and sent some text messages here and there but nothing really heartfelt. I was relieved to be away from him and thought maybe that would give us both some time to think about what we wanted. We briefly discussed a separation while I was gone, but apparently simply discussing it wasn't enough for him. By the time I had returned, he had already moved out; dropping the bomb on me in the middle of our kitchen the night I got home.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

I felt silent tears stream down my cheeks because of my actions. _How is he ever going to forgive you for behaving that way? You're lucky he didn't leave your ass six months ago._

Now, I realized my mistake. I should have loved him and held him until he was reassured about our love and commitment to each other. I should have taken some time off instead of throwing myself into another book. I should have made him my first and only priority; giving him nothing but time and attention. I stayed gone three weeks out of four most of the time. I wondered why he didn't just come with me on the book tours. He was just as much a part of my writing as I was. As I laid there in bed scolding myself; ashamed of the way I treated my husband, I decided I had to win him back.

When Edward and I were in our prime, we had perfection. _What if it's too late?_ A deep sob came from my chest, and I shuttered at the thought that I might be too late. I could only hope for his forgiveness. I had to try one last time, since I knew I was mostly to blame. Whatever it took, that's what I would do.

I think I finally fell asleep around 3:00 am. I had set my alarm, but I guess I turned it off without realizing it. I eventually woke up on my own, shooting up out of bed to look at the clock. _OH NO! DAMN IT TO FUCKING HELL!!_ It was 9:15, and I was supposed to be meeting Edward at 10:00. I was going to be so late. _He is going to be so pissed at me; even more than he already is._ I still had to shower, get ready, and drive half an hour to meet him. I wished he had just wanted to meet me here at the house; our house, like I had originally suggested. _But, no_. He suggested his apartment, and I said "Absolutely not." I knew now why I had not wanted to go over there. Seeing that place would have made this final. I never wanted to see it. When I said 'no' to his place, he mentioned the coffee shop, and we came to an agreement.

I jumped out of bed and ran to the shower. I did my best to rush though it, but I wanted to make sure I had shaved everything; just in case things did go my way and we went to a hotel for some fabulous make up sex. We had a lot of sex to catch up on. _My God, has it really_ _been a year since we last had sex?_ I got butterflies just thinking about having Edward's hands on me again.

I wanted to look beautiful for him today and make him want me, so I decided to put on my tight little pencil skirt with matching fitted jacket. It was just snug enough to show him all my curves and show just enough leg to at least make him think twice. I picked out my high heel red stilettos with the cutest little matching red flowers set off to the side of each shoe.

I put on just enough make up to accentuate my eyes with a smoky look and a gloss to make my lips super shiny. I wanted him to want to take me right there in the coffee shop. I did not have a whole lot of time to even mess with my hair. Luckily, he liked it best when it was wavy and down; cascading around my shoulders. Thankfully, it was raining so the humidity helped with my natural waves. I threw a little product in my hair to keep if from frizzing up. Before I ran for the door, I grabbed the wedding ring that hadn't been worn in months and slipped it back on my finger. It felt right, and gave me comfort to wear it again. I grabbed my purse, and rushed out hoping for the best.

Ready to win him back, I drove as fast as I could in the stupid rain to meet Edward. I had never been to this coffee shop, so I was not exactly sure where I was going. I found it right away but could not find a damn parking spot anywhere near the building. I finally found one about half a block away and hurried to park. I looked down at the clock and noticed I was already thirty minutes late. _Man, he is going to be so mad at me. He totally hates it when I am late._

I had to give myself a little pep talk before getting out of the car. I got nervous and could feel my anxiety creeping in. I took a deep breath. _Okay Bella you can do this. Just be open and honest with him; everything will work out. _My little 'self talk' gave me the confidence I needed to move forward.

It wasn't until I opened the car door, that I noticed how hard the rain was falling and how strong the wind was. Luckily, I brought my piece of crap umbrella. I tried to run, but I was afraid I would slip and fall wearing my tight skirt and heels in the pouring rain. I finally got to the corner of the street where the coffee shop was just on the other side.

The light was red, so I had to stop and wait. I used my umbrella to try to shield myself from the rain but it didn't matter much. I was getting soaked. I looked down and lifted my foot, only to notice that my fabulous shoes were now drenched and the expensive leather was stretching out; making the once perfect fit a bit loose. I cursed under my breath, but told myself it was worth it for the man I loved.

I looked back up and I spotted him inside the coffee shop. He was sitting at one of the bistro tables holding his coffee cup and staring straight into my eyes. Damn he looked so good. I continued to stare at him hoping he might give me an idea as to what kind of mood he was in. His face was stone, and I knew he was angry. _Fuck, he's mad because I'm late_.

I let my lips curl into the most beautiful smile I could. _Please smile back_. I thought as I smiled at him. Finally his eyes softened and he smiled. I found comfort in his beautiful expression. _Maybe there's a chance. No matter, there's no turning back now._ I was just moments away from confessing my love to him and telling him how sorry I was for being such a bitch for the last year or so.

I was tired of waiting for the light to turn green and decided to make a quick run for it. _I ran track in high school. I can make it across, no problem_. I looked for cars and did not see any. I stepped in to a large puddle as I stepped off the curb. "Fuck," I mumbled as I began a light jog. I got about a third of the way across the street when a freaking giant gust of wind damn near blew me over; flipping my umbrella up and inside out. At the exact same time, my foot slipped out of my stretched out shoe, causing me to lose my balance. Struggling to not fall over, I jumped back on one foot to retrieve my shoe; while fighting to keep my umbrella from taking flight. At this point, I looked as if I had just stepped out of the shower. _So much for trying to make a good impression_.

Just as I reached my shoe, I heard _Edward_ shouting my name, "Bella!" I quickly grabbed it and turned to see Edward on the other side of the street, standing near the entrance of the coffee shop. He had a look of terror stretched across his face. _What is wrong with him?_ My instinctive need to get to him took over, but before I could move I heard squealing tires. I looked around to see where the commotion was coming from and immediately noticed a speeding car coming straight for me…..

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**As we get closer to updating EPOV (Second Chances) we will post teasers, music, and a countdown clock showing our exact update time on the blog.**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for being patient with us on this. We are working diligently on it, but sometimes life gets in the way. **

**Thanks to all of our devoted readers. Thanks to MaryV121 who helps me with suggestions for the blog, the Pattinson pic of the week and the music. **

**xoxo dbtcjs**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight…**

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Before my mind could even register what was happening, the car turned its wheels and skidded into me from the side.

***********

The sound of Edward's voice pulled me back to reality, "Bella, are you there? Can you hear me? Wake up sweetie." He sounded panicked and scared. _What the HELL just happened and why does my entire body ache?_

My heart was racing like a turbo engine, and I could tell that my adrenaline was pumping through every vein I had trying to help me deal with this situation. I wanted to be anywhere but here; anywhere but lying in the middle of the street in the fucking rain. I wanted Edward to take me away.

The pain I felt was immense and a dull throbbing was radiating all the way up and back down my left leg. The pain seemed to culminate in and around my knee. It was unlike anything I had ever felt. The back of my head was also pounding, and the sudden urge to reach around to see if I was bleeding was almost overwhelming. I was too afraid of what I might find and quickly decided against it.

Instead, I tried to sit up. My attempt was stopped when I felt hands gently ease me back, guiding my head to rest in his lap. It was Edward, my beautiful Edward.

"Bella, please don't move too much. What hurts? Are you ok?" He asked with sheer horror in his voice.

_Wow, he is really cute. How could I have ever let him slip away? I must be crazy or stupid….yeah, that's it….stupid!_

The look on his face was like nothing I had ever seen before. He appeared terrified and worried; almost to the point of hysteria. I must be in pretty bad shape for him to look like that. Even in my clouded state, I knew I had to ease his fears. "Edward," I whispered before my brain shut down in an effort to cope with the circumstances.

********

I felt myself wake for a brief moment but fear kept me from opening my eyes, and the agonizing pain in my head kept me from comprehending what was going on. I could tell I was in an ambulance, and I felt myself get scared when I didn't hear anything but the blazing sirens. _Where is Edward? Did he not ride with me?_ _Does he despise me to the point that he no longer cares if I live or die?_ I was terrified and needed him more than ever. Just knowing he was with me would be enough, for now. This accident so does not fit into my "winning Edward back" plan.

Finally I heard his voice, but it didn't sound real. It sounded far away and it almost echoed in my ears. I was relieved to know he was sitting right next to me and wanted so badly to reach out to him. He seemed to be recapping the story of the accident and sounded completely distraught. "She was in the middle of the street trying to get her ridiculous shoe. I should have helped her, but I didn't." His voice sounded strained and out of sorts; almost apologetic. He paused for a moment and all I heard was rapid breathing. "Bella was meeting me to sign our divorce papers." I heard the sound of rustling paper, "See, here they are." He must have been showing someone the evidence. "I used to love her. God, how I loved her."

_Loved?_ I didn't have the strength to let his use of the word in the past tense worry me. I heard him mumbling something under his breath, but I couldn't really make out what he was saying. Most of the words I did hear didn't make much sense. Edward had a tendency to ramble in high stress situations, "Always…her…in some way…still… can't fight it…oh God…too late." I wondered if his spurts of words were still referring to the accident. His breathing started to come in sharp, short pants. He was losing it. I felt him grab my hand and then felt the pressure of his forehead resting on my chest. "Oh God Bella, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. My Bella. My sweet Bella."

_My sweet Bella?_ I heard that loud and clear, word for word. He actually had lost it. I knew I had been anything but sweet and for him to call me that…..he must have some sort of memory loss. I squeezed his hand slightly, and heard my name a few more times, before my brain shut me down again.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Mrs. Swan?" I heard someone softly calling my name, "Mrs. Swan can you open your eyes for me?" I slowly woke and felt my eyes flutter open. I was instantly blinded by a bright light above my head, and I squinted while trying to catch of glimpse of the faceless voice calling my name. "I'm sorry. Let me move this. There, is that better?"

I opened my eyes but didn't try to sit up. I briefly scanned the sterile room, and searched for my Edward. Instead of seeing him, I saw blue curtains hanging from the ceiling on all sides and a series of doctors and nurses hovering around me.

Edward was my first thought outside of the pain. "Where's Edward?" I asked with a strained tone.

"He's out in the waiting room. Don't worry." A doctor informed me. I was a little shocked to find out that he was still here but glad he cared enough to stay. Despite the overwhelming pain I felt, I was actually happy, maybe even a slightly excited. I thought back to his beautiful smile; the one he flashed me right before the accident. My heart fluttered when I came to the conclusion that maybe he still cared for me. I felt a glimmer of hope and could not wait for the opportunity to tell Edward how I felt. This accident was just a speed bump in our road to reconciliation.

I made a silent promise to myself that I would make things right between us as soon as possible. I felt a sense of urgency and in an effort to speed things up a bit, I asked the doctor who seemed to be in charge, "Where am I, and when can I be released?" I knew I was in a hospital, but I wanted to know which one. I also knew I was in pain and hoped they would just give me some pain meds and let me go home.

"You're at Baylor hospital in downtown Dallas, and I'm Dr. Greene." He wasted no time getting to the point, "Now, I want you to wiggle your fingers and toes for me." He seemed to ignore the "when can I get released," question; which annoyed me slightly.

Then the realization of what he might be implying sunk in, and my eyes got wide and welled up with tears. I quickly tried to wiggle them but was afraid to look. "Am I moving them?" I asked as a tear spilled over and ran down my cheek.

He chuckled a little but assured me, "Yes, sweetie you're moving them. Do you feel yourself moving them?" He asked with concern.

_Thank God! _

"I do, but I was afraid I was imagining it." I said as my fears diminished.

"It's okay. You can stop moving them now. Tell me where you feel pain."

I felt it all over and just assumed that was to be expected after what had just happened to me. Not wanting to sound like a big baby, I only mentioned the areas that were causing extreme pain, "My knee hurts the worst. It's my left knee, and the back of my head hurts pretty badly too." It feels like I was run over by a car – ha!

"Yes, you have about a one inch long gash in the back of your head. We are going to take care of that as soon as we get your CT scan done. Are you having any trouble breathing?"

I took a deep breath to test my ability, "No, I can breathe just fine." I sighed in relief.

I looked at him as he continued to question me, "Any nausea or anything else like blurred vision that I might need to know about?"

"No nausea, or other problems; just pain," I said as I tried to adjust myself in my bed to get more comfortable. My _adjustment_ was unsuccessful and only caused more stabbing, shooting and throbbing. Apparently, the doctor could read my mind, because I was about to ask for some pain medication when he mentioned it.

"Okay, we are going to give you an IV to help with your pain." He moved out of the way as a nurse stepped in his place. He motioned to the nurse, "Wait just a minute." He moved to the end of my stretcher, "Mrs. Swan I am going to look at your knee before we give you anything for the pain. I want your true reaction, okay?"

"Okay," I replied. I didn't want him to actually touch my knee, but I had a feeling he was going to.

He looked closely at my leg. "Mrs. Swan you don't appear to have any broken bones, but I would like to try a little maneuver on you. You just let me know if you feel any discomfort, okay?"

I nodded and prepared myself for the worst. I didn't think I had broken a bone either, because I had broken my arm as a child and that is not a pain you forget. This felt different; almost like it was inside or behind my knee.

He placed his right hand behind my leg, just above my knee, and his left hand rested firmly on the top of my leg just below my knee. "I am going to perform something called a Lachman test. It will help me determine if you have a torn ligament or not." He positioned his hands correctly one more time, "Just try to relax."

The fear of what was to come made me start to sweat. Then I felt it, he seemed to move my upper thigh and lower leg in opposite directions.

"Ouch!" I hollered. He immediately stopped the maneuver and placed my leg gently back on the bed.

"Alright, I apologize for that. I knew that some pain might be involved in that. The Lachman test only causes discomfort if the injury has just occurred." He turned to one of the male nurses in the room, "Order a CT scan for her head, and an MRI for her left knee. Tell the radiologist we are looking for a torn ACL. Oh, and start with the CT scan. I am more concerned with the possible head injury, than I am with the knee."

I watched him gesture to the nurse standing by my head, giving her the green light on administering my IV.

"I know you are having some discomfort. The meds in your IV should help. I will be back shortly." He grabbed my chart before walking out. _Some discomfort! I hurt like HELL!_

Finally, the nurse placed the IV into my left hand. Knowing what my reaction would be, I didn't watch as she methodically did her job. I had a tendency to get nauseous and faint at the sight of needles. Just knowing what she was doing was enough to cause queasiness. Feeling the slow burn, I laid there and let the drip fill my veins.

My minor aches were subsiding, and the only real pain I could still feel was in my knee. Of course my pride was hurt, but the meds couldn't make that issue any better. I didn't consider myself much of a klutz, but today I was obviously in rare form.

I had to close my eyes to concentrate on making some sense of my impending future. I realized then that my request to leave the hospital so soon was ridiculous. I had obviously done something to my knee that was going to put me out of commission for a little while. _What the hell was I going to do now?_

I was going to need someone to take care of me, for a few days at least while I got back on my feet. I knew Alice would want to help, but she had a young son and wouldn't be in a position to be at my disposal. Rosalie, my sweet sister in-law, could help, but her dramatics would likely get in the way of my recovery. Plus, she has a little one as well. How could I ask either of them to take care of me when they each had families to tend to? I didn't know if Edward would help me or not, and I was too scared to approach him with the current state of our relationship. For the first time in my life, I felt like I didn't really have anyone to turn to.

Why had I been too proud to say anything before? If I had just been honest with Edward, none of this would have happened. I felt a knot form in my throat, and I wondered if he was still out in the waiting room. I wanted him with me. I wanted to feel safe and protected, and I knew he could give me that. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and apologize…..tell him how much I loved him, and how I never really stopped.

I felt the knot grow bigger when I wondered how he would receive that information. He hated me, and I knew it. I wondered if I was too late. I should have never let him leave the night he told me he was moving out. I should have told him then, but I was too angry and let my pride get in the way. I felt my cheeks get wet, and I reached up to wipe the tears away, knowing that spilling my guts to him was the only way to make him see the truth.

I closed my eyes and remembered what it felt like to have his arms around me. Edward's arms could cover my entire body. We fit perfectly together like pieces of a puzzle. I loved it when he pulled me to him, and I nuzzled against his chest. Lying there in my hospital bed remembering his touch, I could actually feel the weight of his arms on my shoulders, and the smell of his perfect skin. When we first got together, I fell asleep that way every night; my naked body molded against his. _"__I love you Bella,"_ I could almost hear his smooth voice as he said it in my head.

I finally felt the physical exhaustion of the day and the night before take over. I hoped that when I woke I would find him by my side.

I woke in what seemed like minutes later to the sound and feeling of a nurse checking my vitals.

"Where's Edward?" I asked immediately.

"He is still out in the waiting room. We handled the cut on the back of your head and the doctor has the results of your MRI and CT scan," She said as she looked down at me after writing some notes down in my chart. "Dr. Greene should be in shortly to give you your results, okay? Can I get you anything?" She asked tenderly.

"No, thank you."

"Alright, your doctor should be in any minute." She turned and walked out.

I was pleasantly surprised that Edward was still in the waiting room. I imagined that Alice was out there too, probably freaking out, I wondered if Edward had called Emmet and Rosalie yet.

The medicine in my IV forced me to relax, and I laid there with the bright fluorescents staring back at me. How is a girl supposed to get any rest with those lights? I felt myself sink deeper into the stiff bed, and my eyes became heavy again. I didn't want to fall asleep, and I was fighting it with everything I had. Regret and sadness filled me when I realized how alone I truly was.

I glanced down at my left hand that had the IV in it. It wasn't until then that I noticed my ring was missing. I figured that a doctor or nurse had removed it at some point. I could only hope that Edward had it now. He was probably wondering why I had worn it, and I briefly wondered if he was wearing his.

**_Flashback _**

I remembered back to the day that Edward gave me my ring. He caught me completely off guard. We hadn't even talked about marriage. Edward took a huge risk by asking a girl who he hadn't even discussed it with. I wouldn't have changed it though. I was probably one of the last lucky few who had no clue a proposal was coming. We had only been dating for six months when he asked me.

Earlier in the week he told me that he had plans for us on the following Saturday. He said it was a surprise, and that I should be dressed casually and not to get upset if my hair got messed up during our outing. His request left me speechless and full of curiosity. I was dying to know what he had up his sleeve and kept asking him questions and begging for hints. He teased me with little clues like, "hopefully this will be the most memorable day of your life" and "come Saturday, you will see sparkles every time you look down." Other than his "so called indications," his lips were sealed. Looking back on it now, I should have known. He was practically giving it away. I was just so caught up in _him_ that I wasn't paying attention.

He arrived at my door looking sexier than ever holding two helmets…..no flowers, just two black helmets. I stood in the doorway not knowing what to expect. He noticed my questioning look, "We're going for a ride." At that moment, I was really glad that all I had done with my hair was blow dry it and leave it straight. I figured since he said not to be upset if it got messed up, then I was not going to spend a whole heck of a lot of time fixing it.

Stepping into the driveway, I noticed it – the motorcycle. It was a very pretty black and chrome Harley Davidson. Not that I am a huge fan of the motorcycle, but this one sure was pretty. I knew Edward had a bike, but I had never seen it since he kept it in storage. My stomach did about ten back flips just thinking about getting on that thing. I was an emotional train wreck; feeling scared, nervous, excited. The best part was knowing that I would get to ride behind Edward holding him close until we arrived at our surprise destination.

The ride was completely exhilarating as he drove us to a quaint little Italian restaurant. I loved feeling the wind against my skin and the purring engine between my legs. I never thought of a motorcycle ride as being sexy, but by the time we arrived I was aroused and overly stimulated.

It was lunch time, but we seemed to be the only patrons in the place. We were seated at a tucked away booth in the back of the restaurant that was eloquently dressed with a white table cloth and black linen napkins. A few red carnations floated in a small bowl in the center of the table. It was not five star, but was perfect for our Saturday lunch date.

Knowing we would not be able to keep our hands off one another and not wanting to draw attention to ourselves, we sat on the same side of the booth out of site from basically everyone. We took the opportunity to sit as close to each other as we could and kiss as often as we could. I could tell something was making Edward act different, and I was beginning to wonder about the reason he brought me to lunch. I was about to say something, when he turned to me, "Bella, you know how much I love you right? You know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me right?"

I wasn't sure if he actually wanted an answer or not, so I just nodded and gave him a curious look. After a long pause, he continued, "Bells, you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would be my wife." _Jesus… did my heart actually stop?_ I did a metal check of my vitals. _Yup, it stopped and had to restart itself._ Then he pulled a beautiful ring from his pocket, "I love you with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest on my life with you." He took a deep breath, "Will you marry me?"

I couldn't believe it. My eyes welled up with tears, and I cupped his face as I pulled his lips to mine. I was absolutely and utterly astonished, amazed, and overwhelmed. I was so shocked by the ring that I forgot to say, "Yes." I just stared at it and then at Edward and then back at the ring. Finally, Edward said, "Ummm, is that a yes?"

Realizing that I had yet to say anything, I threw my arms around his neck and whispered, "Yes," over and over in his ear; along with some "I love yous"

Edward picked up my left hand and stared into my eyes as he slipped the gorgeous ring on my finger. With devotion in his voice and a smile on his face, he leaned in and whispered against my lips, "This means you are mine forever."

_Forever. Sounds good to me._

With him so close, I seized the moment and gave his lips a slow lick. I let my tongue linger until his lips parted, and I entered his mouth. This turned into the most amazing and most passionate kiss I have ever experienced. Our kissing continued and at one point, the waiter had to clear his throat to break up our heated make out session. After giving our orders to the waiter, we resumed our positions locking lips and groping all the right spots.

The long table cloth covered our under the table actions, and I proceeded to unzip Edwards pants and began to stroke him with long and slow movements. "Bella, you don't even know what you are doing to me, ughhhh. You make me so hot!"

When the kissing and the hand job become too much for either of us to handle, we headed to the bathroom hand in hand. Without anyone noticing, we both entered the "Ladies Room." It was a single bathroom with double sinks; which made no sense what so ever.

As soon as the door was locked, we began kissing and removing each others clothes in a heated rush. "Edward, I need you so bad. I want to feel you inside me. Please don't make me wait." Once we were completely naked, Edward picked me up and placed me on the bathroom counter.

I was so wet, we did not even need any foreplay. Edward slid right into me and immediately began massaging my clit. "Oh God, Bella. You feel so good!" His every move consumed me further, and the harder he thrust, the better it felt. "I don't know how long I can last. I need you to come with me." Edward's voice was strained as he tried to hold off. His words sent me soaring, and in what seemed like less than a minute we came together. Neither of us had ever come so fast. I guess it was the combination of being in a public place and the intimacy of the proposal.

We held each other close for a few minutes while our heart beats returned to normal. He lightly kissed my neck and caressed my back before pulling away to help me redress. We giggled together at the thought of the whole restaurant hearing our "impromptu nooner in a public facility" and decided that this was definitely one of our "hotter" experiences.

In an effort to leave the bathroom undetected, I stepped out first to make sure the coast was clear. After taking a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, I peeked my head back into the bathroom to let Edward know he could come out. As we were walking back to our seats, Edward pulled me to him and leaned in to whisper, "Bella you are an amazing woman. You make me feel complete. I will always love you." He always knew just the right thing to say and right when I needed it most.

Our food was waiting for us when we got back. Having just worked up an insatiable appetite, we diligently scarfed it down; leaving absolutely nothing left to take home. As we waited for our check, we made plans to spend the rest of the day in bed making love and celebrating.

Our engagement only lasted about four months. We weren't living together when he proposed, but we purchased our dream house with our 'new money' and moved in as quickly as possible.

**_End Flashback_**

That "dream house" had become just "my house," but hopefully that was about to change. It was way too big for one person……hell it was too big for two people. I knew now that Edward had been the one to bring life to it. Without him, it was just furniture, paint, and lighting. All those "things" that you think make a house a home, no longer mattered.

Before my meds forced my eyes shut, I decided that as soon as I saw him, hospital or no hospital, pain or no pain, I was going to tell him how I felt. The location didn't matter; he had to know the truth. My eyes grew heavier and heavier, and shutting them felt like the only form of relief. I turned my thoughts off and let my body and mind rest.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"Mrs. Swan?" I let my eyes lazily drift open and found Dr. Greene standing next to my bed. "Hi there. How are you feeling?" He asked with a smile on his face.

"I'm okay. Just feeling like I got hit by a car or something," I tried to make a little joke. "Oh, that's right. I did get hit by a car."

He chuckled slightly, "Well at least you haven't lost your sense of humor." He took a deep breath and looked down at my chart, "Well, we got all of your results back, and it looks like your knee is the worst of your injuries."

"I figured that much, since it's causing me the most discomfort." I said.

"You tore your ACL ligament pretty severely, and I am actually going to recommend surgery to fix it."

"What?" I asked in shock. "I can't have surgery right now. I have an extensive book tour lined up. I leave in a week." I was shaking my head 'no,' hoping he would give me an alternative. Maybe, I could get a second opinion to buy me some more time. Maybe I could convince the new doctor to do surgery after my book tour.

Of course, if things had gone well with Edward, I would have canceled the book tour and suggested that we go on a second honeymoon instead. I decided to keep that little tid bit to myself though.

"Well Mrs. Swan, as your doctor, I am going to recommend that you cancel your book tour." He sighed heavily, "Of course the decision is yours to make, but I must warn you that if you don't have this surgery, I believe your left knee will give you trouble for years to come. It won't ever heal right and you will more than likely walk with a limp."

"Oh, God," I sighed in disappointment. "How long does something like this take to recover from?"

"Well you will need physical therapy, but you should be as good as new in about four weeks. The surgery itself takes about an hour, and you will be in recovery for a while after that. The surgery consists of taking part of your hamstring muscle and using it as the new ligament in your knee."

_Holy fuck!_

I was shaking my head in disbelief. What was going to happen now? I was going to be basically crippled for the next month. Someone was definitely going to have to help me; possibly even live with me.

I spoke inwardly, trying to pep talk myself into the decision. I thought about consulting Edward with the decision of surgery, but knew he would want me to go ahead with it.

"Okay," I finally said. "When do you want to do it?"

"Well, I already have a surgeon lined up. He has years of experience doing this exact surgery and is considered one of the best in his field. He is actually here now, waiting to come in and talk to you. So to answer your question, we would like to go ahead with it as soon as possible." He turned to walk out, "I'll be right back with Dr. Newton."

He returned a moment later with my surgeon. "Mrs. Swan, I'm Dr. Newton. I am going to be your orthopedist." He held is hand out, and I cordially did the same.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you." I said as nicely as I could, considering the extreme nature of the situation.

He proceeded to tell me exactly how this surgery worked, how long I would be under anesthetic, and about how long it would take for me to recover. For good measure, he reiterated the fact that the recovery would take approximately four weeks, if and only if, I stuck to my physical therapy schedule.

"Do you have any questions, comments, or concerns that we need to discuss before we proceed?" He asked after he finished detailing every aspect of the next few hours.

"No, I think you just about covered it all." I said with a hint of sarcasm in my tone. "Oh, do I need to fill out some paper work or something?"

"Well, I am about to go meet with your husband to give him the details. If you'd like, I can have him fill out paper work for you. It is a very common procedure in situations like this."

My heart sunk, _"your husband__"_ and I wondered how much longer he would actually hold that title. "Um, Edward should be able to fill everything out." It was the truth. He still knew me better than anyone else, and he was still my husband. My gaze fell from the doctor, and I felt tears pool in my eyes. I was scared and a feeling of helplessness filled me.

I knew I was about to have to give up control over nearly everything, including all physical activity. And to make matters worse, I was probably going to have to hire a stranger to come help me get around the house as I recovered. I was feeling sorry for myself as my tears spilled out over onto my cheeks.

Here I was all alone in this room, knowing Edward was out there, but he hadn't been able to come in and see me yet. I had asked for him several times, maybe he didn't want to come see me. My heart broke, as I realized how much I needed him.

"Mrs. Swan, are you alright?" He asked and handed me a tissue from the counter behind him. I took it from him gratefully and wished that I could change everything about this day.

"I'm alright." I said through my tears and cried a little harder. "This day just isn't what I thought it was going to be." _Jesus, that was the understatement of the century._ I didn't feel the need to tell him about any of the other issues I was having.

He gave my hand a soothing pat. "Just try to relax. You'll be back on your feet before you know it." I took a calming breath and wiped the last of the tears from my eyes.

"I am going to send your anesthesiologist in, while I go speak to Mr. Cullen. She is going to give you some meds to help relax you before you go fully under, okay?"

I nodded and watched Dr. Newton step out as Dr. Greene made his way closer to my bed. "Well I just wanted to let you know that your CT scan came back showing a concussion. We will be watching you very closely and everything should be just fine. I am confident that the wound on your head will heal quickly and there should not be any lasting effects from the concussion."

"Well that's good news, I guess." I said with a slight shrug.

He nodded, "Are you still feeling pain?"

I did a quick mental check of all areas of my body. "No, not really. Mainly the only thing that still hurts is my knee."

"Well, your drip has probably taken care of most of your other pain. I am not going to give you any more drugs right now with the anesthesiologist coming in shortly. She will give you what we call a 'cocktail.' You will be feeling no pain very soon. I guarantee it." He chuckled slightly, "Just hang tight."

"That works for me!"

"I will see you after your surgery, alright?" I only nodded as my nerves started to get the better of me. I had never had any kind of surgery before, and deep down I knew there was nothing to fear, but I was still nervous to say the least.

He must have noticed my apprehension, "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

"Thanks," I said as he started to walk out. "Oh, Dr. Greene," he turned to look at me. "If it's not too much trouble, can you send my husband in here? I would really like to talk to him before I go into surgery."

"Sure. I am on my way out to talk to him now, and I will send him in right away."

A few minutes later, the anesthesiologist walked in. "Hi Bella." It was the first time anyone at this hospital had called me by my first name; not that I minded. "My name is Jessica. I am your anesthesiologist."

"Hi," I said nervously. I knew that this woman was going to put me to sleep for a while, and it made me overly anxious. She was very nice, but I just didn't like the idea of being totally under someone else's control.

"Are you nervous?" She asked as she prepared a needle for my IV.

"A little," I confessed as I fidgeted with my fingers.

"Well there is nothing to worry about. You are only going to be under for about forty five minutes to an hour. This is a quick process. I am going to be with you the entire time, watching you very carefully and monitoring your every heartbeat."

As she started to inject the meds, I asked, "Is what you're giving me going to put me out immediately?"

She chuckled. "No, it will take a few minutes. But don't be surprised if you start to feel really relaxed and sleepy. You may or may not be awake by the time we take you back for the surgery."

"Oh." I was sort of relieved that these meds weren't the actual anesthetic.

"By the way, if you are in any pain, this should take care of it." She paused for a moment and then continued with a silly grin, "Well actually, the pain may not go away, you just aren't going to care about it anymore."

"Okay," I laughed slightly. I was actually starting to like her. She was funny and carefree, and made me feel calm; unlike the other doctors who seemed nice but so serious. Maybe it was just the meds. I don't know.

"Okay, all done. She left the room, and I felt myself sink back down into my bed. I sat there for several minutes, and a feeling of relaxation like I have never felt before started to flow through body. _Damn, if these drugs are going to do this, maybe I should think about getting some for when I go home. Haha._

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, I was feeling no pain. I even noticed myself smiling for no reason at all, and I wasn't one bit embarrassed by my goofy grin. Then I thought I heard someone humming, and when I stopped to listen harder, I realized it was me.

I let out a few giggles and then noticed Jessica's head peek around the corner. "How are we doing in here?" She asked with a toothy smile.

"Rrreeeally gooodd," I said realizing then that I sounded drunk. Maybe I was drunk, only without the spinning. I tried not to rationalize it any further. I rather liked the feeling, and I was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

She giggled, "I will see you in there, okay? And Bella, remember, everything will be just fine." I only nodded and smiled back at her with my perma-grin as she walked out of the room. All the worry and anxiety I felt seemed to have left my body; leaving me giddy.

Finally, I saw that beautiful face, the one I had been waiting for, peek tentatively around the corner. I suddenly felt a memorable comfort in the sight of him and breathed a sigh of relief. My heart jumped, and I instantly longed for his touch. "Edward," I said as my hand instinctively reached out for him. Even in my euphoric state, I thought he seemed glad to see me. He was here. Finally here! He was here to see me and make me feel safe and cared for. A least that's what I told myself.

He reached out and took my hand. "Hey Bella," he said as he sat on the edge of my bed and kissed my fingers. His eyes closed as he gave the affectionate kisses. I smiled at him, thankful for his loving touch. "How are you feeling?" He asked with great concern.

I said the only thing that came to mind, "Grreeeat!"

He shook his head, and the smile that I originally fell in love with appeared as he let out a small laugh. Then, his jolly demeanor changed to one of a serious nature. He looked into my eyes, "I'm so sorry Bells, I-"

I looked at his face questioningly. I knew him well enough to know that he wanted to say something else. Instead of saying what was on his mind, he just kissed my fingers again.

"Edwarddd, please don't apologize. Thiss isn't your fault. Don't beat youursself up." I could tell my words didn't come out as clearly as I had planned. I stared into his eyes and noticed how exhausted and worried he looked_. __Oh, please don't worry about me, Edward. I am gonna be just fine._

I don't know if I actually believed those thoughts or not, but I was willing to lie to Edward to keep him from worrying. I hated the look on his face.

I could feel the tenderness of his hand against mine as I fought with my IV to maintain control. The urge to tell him how I truly felt was overwhelming. Even in my slurred state, I decided to go ahead with it.

"Edward," I tried with everything I had to make his name sound strong and purposeful, but I knew it only came out in a whisper.

"What baby?" His use of the pet name gave me that last little drop of confidence I needed to move forward with my plan. Tell him, tell him nooowwwww!

I could feel myself slipping, further and further, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to fight the relaxation much longer.

"I have to tell you something,"

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

I woke up feeling very drowsy, like I might have been asleep for days. My mouth felt dry, and I was out of sorts; slightly confused. I couldn't seem to get a grip on my surroundings, and I surveyed the room to try and make sense of everything.

I quickly came to the conclusion that I was in a hospital. The bed was stiff and the sheets felt the same. The room was sterile, and everything was painted white with cream colored accents. The counter was made of cheap millwork, and a small wardrobe closet sat just to my left. I noticed a television connected to the ceiling in the upper left corner of the room, which no one had bothered to turn on.

I looked down at my body to survey the damage, and noticed I had an IV in my left hand. _What the hell happened to me?_

I detected a large bulge under the sheet where my left knee was, I lifted the sheet to get a better look. It was wrapped tightly in ace bandages and appeared to be three times its normal size. I wanted to try and shift my leg but quickly decided that might not be such a wise idea. I wasn't sure what had happened, and I didn't want to injure myself further by moving it if I wasn't supposed to.

About that time, I noticed my hand being held by someone to my right. His head was resting, forehead down, on the bed next to me, and all I could see was his hair. It was bronze colored and totally disheveled; like his hands might have run through it one too many times.

I tapped his shoulder softly. "Umm, excuse me," I said quietly trying to wake him gently. I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not, but I felt the need to ask him some questions. His breathing didn't change, and he didn't stir. I tried again. "Hey," I said a little louder this time.

That attempt woke him, and he sat up looking groggy; yet grateful to see me awake. I nearly gasped at the sight of the beautiful man's face. The perfect jaw and gorgeous green eyes, mixed with his sexy stubble caused a little flutter in my belly. _My God, who is this masterpiece and why is he holding my hand?_

"Bella?"

* * *

**Okay guys, as we said at the end of Edward's chapter in _Second Chances..._**** we know that she wouldn't be having surgery the same day as the accident. But it's fiction people, just trust us and go with it!**

**Thanks for reading!!**

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